Friday, June 16, 2017

Kitchen Remodel Update!

We have been working hard around here and are getting to the final stages of our kitchen remodel! Woo-hoo! I thought I would just share a bit about the process. Full Disclosure: We are not professionals, just your average DIYers!
I hope you enjoy watching the transformation. 

BUT FIRST: Back to the very beginning. Looking at these before photos makes me realize just what a huge project this was in hindsight! And also how very 90s. (Not the good 90s.)

The cabinets were actually solid wood and in good condition so we saw this as a good way to save some money and simply paint these white and add new hardware- something we had done before at our previous house. It wasn't a terrible kitchen, but it seemed dated and it just wasn't our style. I really didn't like all the beige and orange-ey vibes going on. 

There was also very minimal counter space and so we knew right off the bat we would add a large island to maximize the space for cooking. Oh, and there was no dishwasher! Who does that?

If you look just behind you in the original kitchen you would find this lovely tile partial wall that divided the kitchen from the living room and dining nook. 

We based our entire decision to buy this house on removing this partial wall that our contractor friend said he was 90% sure was not load bearing and would be "easy-enough" to remove ourselves. Yep, that's how we roll. Risk taking is our thing I guess. 

*Spoiler Alert* He was good on that 90%. Thanks Jeff! Whew.

This is a view from the living room on the back side of the partial tile wall separating the kitchen from the dining nook. It did seem pretty small at first, but we were confident that we could have a more open feel with taking out the wall and that the space might feel bigger that way. 

We had an open concept in our first home and we really liked having it that way so that our little family can feel closer while I am cooking and they are coloring at the table for example. 

We are committed to living simply but not sacrificing on our style. We just want it to feel like us. Hence the remodel project!

Here is the really neat wall oven to the right of the stove top in the first photo. There is also a built in fridge (into the bathroom closet) right next to it, surrounded by the same lovely tile. I really didn't mind this wall oven initially, but the bummer was that the oven door wouldn't open all the way because it would catch on the fridge door handle. Again, who does that?

 So our first order of business was to remove all of the beige 90s tile!

My husband will be so happy I included him in this blog post. ;) P.S. Check out that retro light fixture. Is that cool again yet?

This process was pretty slow as the tiles were stuck on there pretty good. 

The next step was to remove the partial wall. We had some fun and shot entirely too many slow-mo videos of Nick (Dan's brother) kicking out the drywall. I'll spare you those for now.

Once the drywall was out, the sight lines increased dramatically. We were starting to catch the vision that we had imagined! It did seem bigger, even with the studs still up. 

Next week I will update you on the design choices we made and some budget-saving things we did to make the most of the design. Thanks for reading friends! What DIY projects have you done lately?

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Over the past five months, my family and I had a wonderful opportunity to live at a friend of the family's guest house while we transitioned into a new position in ministry and a new city. This was so good for our family because we were able to transition more easily without buying a house right away.

We could get to know the area a bit better, have time to sell our old house without jumping right into a new one and live rent free for a few months which was easy on the budget!

We lived care free for a few months and it was wonderful. We were able to eat out more often (yay for not cooking all the time) and went on a few more fun trips with the kids, like the Shedd Aquarium, the Zoo and Thistleberry Farms during the fall.

(Bouncing on a beautiful fall day at Thistleberry Farms)

(The Windy City from Shedd Aquarium)

(Riding the train into Chicago)

(Lake Michigan was beautiful that day!)

(Shedd Aquarium)

This was a HUGE blessing for us. We are so thankful for our time there.

Although it was super convenient for us, there were some down sides.

The guest house was probably a maximum of 800 sq. feet. It might even be smaller. We have three small kids ages 3-7 and my husband and myself. The main living room, was also our bedroom. There was a very small bedroom that was almost exactly the size of a full mattress with no gaps on the sides. That was where all three kids slept on the floor on an air mattress.

At first it was kind of like camping, the thrill of sleeping in strange, temporary places. Then the thrill started to wear off and it became completely normal.

I know that life has a way of teaching us things through every season. We learned some good lessons that I hope will stick with us in the future. It also made us more appreciative of having a home again with bedrooms and space to spread out when we finally bought a new house.

Here are 6 Lessons We Learned From Living in a Tiny House with Kids:

1. You definitely think harder about "things" you buy at the store.  

Do we literally have anywhere to put this thing? For example, take the Target dollar bins which are my weakness. Where will I put all these cute office supply trinkets? Do I really have room for one more package of cute post it notes? I just have a kitchen counter, no "office" to speak of. This was a wonderful lesson to learn. This is probably one of the main reasons people live in tiny houses. It is like automatic forced editing for your life. Minimalism at its best!

2. It takes about 30 mins. to clean up the whole place!

BUT, It takes about 30 mins to trash the whole place. This was probably the most frustrating aspect for me. With the kids, because the main room was where the kitchen, bedroom and living room all existed it was where we LIVED all the time. So getting the kids to clean up their LEGOs, or bowls of goldfish crackers, or tiny bits of cut up paper from making a paper bag puppet all took significant time to follow behind and enforce. On the brightside, this lesson needs to be learned! When you live in a bigger space it is easier to just shut the door to the basement and worry about the toys strewn about another time. Not so in a tiny house. I like that myself and my kids were learning what happens when you don't clean up right away and what kind of space and feeling there is when you do clean up after each activity. (I still struggle with this!) This is something I hope to continue in our new home.

3. A shower can be a magical place of alone time to recharge. 

When you are physically very near each other for 12 hours straight, you start to get annoyed with lots of little things that normally shouldn't bother you. I found the perfect solution to this struggle. Take a nice long, hot shower. Don't forget to lock the bathroom door behind you! I would use lavender essential oil and drop it onto the shower floor before turning on the hot water to add another dimension of calming aromatherapy to my alone time. When the weather was nice, I would take a daily long walk to have some peace and quiet and reflect and pray. This is so needed as a busy Mom living in a tiny house.

4. You find free public spaces in the community to enjoy.

I am a total library geek. I love the big rooms, the colorful displays of books, the quiet energy of minds engaged and the allure of learning something new and interesting. I also, LOVE the kids spaces they almost always have. We are fortunate to have a ton of libraries to explore here in our city. I found the closest one and made it part of our weekly routine. We would go once a week, but if we were feeling cramped in the the tiny house, we would go more often. There are toys to play with, books and magazines to read, ipads to play, and usually do-it-yourself crafts sitting out waiting to be made. All for free! Parks are also a must when the weather is nice. You REALLY appreciate these free community spaces when you are itching to get out of the house, but want to avoid Target and the gimmie-melt-downs thereafter. Plus, it sends a meaningful message to our children that there are experinces that value education over consumerism. 

5. Natural light is good for the soul. Big windows are more important than actual space.

We had these awesome big windows that went all the way up to the ceiling in our tiny house. I learned just how important having that natural light coming in during the day was. It makes the space FEEL so much bigger when you can see the outdoors rather than walls. If you are looking into choosing a smaller space to live with kids, this is a MUST. Have an entire wall of windows on one side. It will make all the difference. You will be a happy camper.

6. You get creative with where to store things.

We did have this one very large shelf that went from floor to ceiling. We stored all of the kids games, art supplies, our office supplies, and any other thing that doesn't have a home. You can also hide candy or things you want to keep away from the kiddos in baskets high up on top. It is essential to have a shelf like this! We also got creative with using walls to store things like papers by simply hanging a piece of string across a stretch of wall. You can use mini binder clips or clothes pins and display kid art work or school work easily. Of course don't forget under the bed and under the couches for more storage!

So we have learned or gotten better with many important life lessons through our tiny house experiment! And, yes, it is possible to live with kids in a smaller space. In fact, it is good for a lot of reasons. I can see how having more room in your budget is a benefit too.

That being said, the tiny house craze, in my opinion after a trial run, is not the best option for raising kids. Ask my husband, he would tell you I was about to lose my marbles by the end of the five months (and some actual tiny houses are wayyyy smaller!). I love the romance of the idea and the counter-culture seduction of minimalism at that level. But at the end of the day, we all seem to be a bit happier and less frustrated with actual bedrooms and personal space now.

I could maybe see Dan and I when we are empty nesters having another trial run in an actual tiny house. (Hmmm another experiment down the road?)

For our family that was a season and we are glad to have a little more room in our new home to stretch out, hopefully taking what we learned through it all to heart.

Monday, January 30, 2017

How I am losing myself (and have seen my true self in the process)

Somewhere along the way as a Mother, we lose a bit of ourselves.

Maybe we lose it the first time we hold that precious, helpless baby.

He looks to me with deep sapphire eyes so unknowing and wild. And yet, somehow he knows to come to me to meet his needs. He nestles in and searches for milk, for the liquid that will sustain his tiny life.

In those first moments, though completely exhausted and healing from my own wounds, I know with unwavering certainty this will be my life story. 

It is to care, to the best of my abilities, for this fragile and weak and wild-eyed little person so small against my chest. The one that was formed inside my own body.

Never have I known a feeling so fierce. It is almost an unrecognizable emotion, hard to name it. Some might call it love.

Its hard to understand the level of giving of ones self until this moment and the many moments thereafter that turn into days, which morph into weeks, years and in most cases, a lifetime.

I recently had a conversation with a young mother who mentioned to me after I inquired about how it was all sorting out, motherhood that is, that she had never known just how selfish she was until she had a baby. I agreed and remembered all too well having that same revelation in the beginning of my journey.

Granted, we are not all the same. Some of us may be more natural servants. Some of us may be more selfish by nature or even by nurture.

I have never read The Message version of this passage in the bible, I find it most interesting:

Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. 

“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? -Matthew 16:24

These words from Jesus are so powerful and so against the popular culture its almost offensive to read them. I can remember really wrestling with these verses when I was a new Christ-follower. I had big questions. What kind of life is a life lived in suffering and self-sacrifice?

I wrestled so much with them, that they began to change me, transform me.  

Just as I had wrestled with these words in my mind as a young woman, now I wrestle with these words in my heart and especially in my actions with those closest to me. Every. single. day. 

And I love the last bit of this. "Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self." 

I want to find my true self. There have been times in my life that I thought I found myself. Even years ago. I have always been a very self-reflective-in-tune-with-myself kind of person. 

The beauty is that the hunt for our TRUE SELVES is a sneaky, elusive matter. It's always changing, shifting shape. The one grand mystery of our existence. 

Even so, there have been times in the motherhood chapters of my story that I have seen glimpses of my true self as though I were staring into a great, dark and very old forest. All of a sudden my silhouette slips out from behind the trunk of a twisted and gnarled oak tree and stares right back at me, figure to figure.

The moment is fleeting, but it is real and it grounds me. God speaks to me through these moments and I know that I am getting closer to Him.

I still don't know how the magic happens. I don't understand how sleepless nights and countless loads of laundry folded, and so many batches of chicken pasta salad (the kind with the grapes cut up in it Mom!) transcend into the eternal.

The many mornings I wished that I could just have a few moments to shower and get ready just for myself, but I get out of bed and I pack those peanut butter sandwiches anyway. I look after all the missing gloves and single lost socks. I give of my heart in moments of great emotional turmoil, in delicate matters of friendship and of enemies at school. I try my best to answer all of the big, big questions about life and God and the how the universe works.

And it's hardest to give when I am tired. Or I'm in pain from arthritis in my joints. Or I haven't had an adult conversation in many days. Or my husband seems distant because we have not truly seen and truly heard each other for long stretches.

But we do all these things anyway. We give of ourselves anyway.

Maybe (again I don't know for sure) the magic happens when we surrender to our self again and again. We get a little bit better at the way in which we do it. 

Please don't misunderstand me. It is important to take care of yourself and make time for your husband and all of those other good things, like pursuing our dreams and making a difference in the world. There is definitely a balance to learn there. One I am still working on as well, that may be a separate conversation for another day.

But looking through the lens of self-sacrifice.... I am getting just a little bit better at the "having-a-good-attitude-while-serving" part. I am getting better at the "asking-for-help-from-the-source", God himself. 

It is making all the difference.