Well I never thought I would say this, but I think I might be struggling with some PPD, aka post-pardum depression. I don't know why but I feel like a failure for even saying that. My emotions have been ALL over the place the last few months. Dan can attest to that, Ha! I love being a mother, but for some reason I have this gloominess hanging over me like a perpetual rainy day. Who ever thought it could be this hard to feel happy? It makes me even more sad to think that I am spending these precious months when Calvin is so little and will never be this little again, feeling this way instead of just enjoying our time together. Phew. So much has happened to me physically and emotionally the last 6 months, plus 9 months of pregnanc- it's exhausting to think back on it. And yet, it is also the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. Is that possible?
I'm hoping with time that I can shake these feelings and become a bit more stable in the coming months. There is a hope my friends!