Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Dark Side...

Well I never thought I would say this, but I think I might be struggling with some PPD, aka post-pardum depression. I don't know why but I feel like a failure for even saying that. My emotions have been ALL over the place the last few months. Dan can attest to that, Ha! I love being a mother, but for some reason I have this gloominess hanging over me like a perpetual rainy day. Who ever thought it could be this hard to feel happy? It makes me even more sad to think that I am spending these precious months when Calvin is so little and will never be this little again, feeling this way instead of just enjoying our time together. Phew. So much has happened to me physically and emotionally the last 6 months, plus 9 months of pregnanc- it's exhausting to think back on it. And yet, it is also the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. Is that possible?

I'm hoping with time that I can shake these feelings and become a bit more stable in the coming months. There is a hope my friends!


Anonymous said...

Hey Katie! I have a good friend who suffered from post-partum depression with her first as well. With my sister just having her first baby, she has had some major emotions going on as well. My friend was very encouraging about going on anti-depressants because she said that there is no reason to be unhappy during what is supposed to be such a great time. It's like getting an epidural!!! Why would you be miserable when there are medicines and tools to help you enjoy life a little bit more?
You are doing great, and you will find the right thing for you in coping with this huge life adjustment.
Hope all is well with you, Dan and Calvin and say hello to everyone for me!


Kate McGate said...

Thanks for the encouraging words Courtney! I have been trying different things to help, and I think it's working. I have been a better lately.