It's 5:00pm in the evening and I'm staring out the windows of my little office in downtown St. Joe. No one is here besides me. I am enjoying the silence and the golden autumn sunshine that is streaming in beside me.
It's so nice to have a moment to just think...I've been staying pretty busy lately with work all day and sometimes nights (like tonight). And also sleeping like crazy. I usually start to fall asleep around 8pm, if not right after eating dinner. It's been great! I have an excuse to sleep! I love sleep. There's nothing more satisfying than slipping into the cool soft sheets. I get so excited sometimes I can't help myself. I giggle and laugh out loud and sigh with contentment. Dan makes fun of me for how excited I get. But if anyone loves sleep as much as I do- it's him! Is it so wrong for two people to love sleep so much?!?!? Sometimes we'll skip going out just to stay in and snuggle in our huge, comfy down comforter. I think we should definitely take every single chance we get to get some shut eye while we can. I hear these babies like to keep people up at night.
At the moment I am 15 weeks along, almost four months. Up until now I've been battling a bad case of "morning" sickness- although it's more than just "morning". I know that every woman goes through this with their pregnancies, but let me just tell ya, it is NOT FUN. And I do not like it. I just need to vent here because I think it will help me feel better. I get sick almost every morning, sometimes I don't actually puke (dry-heave) and other days I puke a few times. It's the worst feeling, especially when I am in the middle of trying to take a shower and get ready to make it out the door on time for work. If I could just stay in bed 'til it passes...which I have done a couple of times it would help. And then I was all excited to eat my frosted mini-wheats, which is always the first thing I do in the morning now-because I am starving...and there they go! Then I'll eat something else when I'm done because I am just so dang hungry and welp, there that goes! Geez!
Then all day at work I have to fight the urge to gag and run to the bathroom anytime I smell anything! Especially the dirty kids that I work with. Whew, if I catch a whiff of dirty hair it's all over! While in the bathroom the nasty air freshener that comes on automatically anytime someone opens the door makes me want to gag even more.
Finally I come home to my cozy little smelly house. Everything smells. I can't cook anymore because the smell of raw chicken and everything else is disgusting. Plus, our house is so small that anything on the stove or in the oven fills the whole house with stench. Even a good smell can become a stench to me. So I sit there all evening wishing it was 8pm so I can go to sleep and not notice the fact that I am constantly wanting to go throw-up and never get relief!
Whew. I feel better already...I hope and pray that this will be gone soon as I am almost to the fourth month! I already respect you mother's out there more than I ever have, just for that!
On a lighter note...I am enjoying the idea of becoming a mom! I didn't realize that I was so excited to have kids until this happened. I always knew I wanted them, but I just feel "ready". Ready to take on this new challenge. Dan and I are in a good place right now financially, at least compared to the past, and I think it is just time. Dan is pretty excited too which makes me happy. I think he will be the best dad.
That's all for now, I'll report more later.